I am a really narcissistic person. End of story. I love taking online tests to further delve into the depths of my character. I took both the Meyers Briggs and the Love Languages tests this morning when I should have been doing my math, and after reading my testing results, I realized that I need one heck of a lot of affirmation and attention. According to the Meyers Briggs test I am an ESFJ; Extroverted-we all knew that-, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. The quick overview of an ESFJ's character pointed out few things I could relate to, but it was when reading the "Weaknesses" list that I knew this computer generated character categorization test had me pegged. My sister and I read through the list together and as I would nod my head , "Yes, definitely" she would nod her head, "I can see that". It included 'Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism', 'Need a lot of positive affirmation to feel good about themselves', 'May be overly status-conscious, and interested in how others see them', and 'May tend to use guilt manipulation as a way to get what they want'. In regard to the last asset, I'm not sure how much I do this already, but I can see myself doing that if I felt desperate and insecure. I find it interesting that ESFJ's are often extremely loyal, unwilling/unable to see bad qualities in those they love, supportive and vocal about their affection in an effort to bestow the thing that they need most- Affirmation.
After taking the Meyers Briggs, I took the 5 Love Languages test for a second time, wondering if the results would differ since the last time I took did it. As it turns out, they had. When I took the test last fall I expected my love language to be Quality Time and because of how the test is set up, I'm pretty sure I made the results to be more Quality Time prone than they naturally would be. I got 8 Words of Affirmation, 10 Quality Time, 6 Receiving Gifts, 2 Acts of Service, 4 Physical Touch. At first I was confused by why I ended up with a much higher Receiving Gifts score than the rest of my sisters, but than I realized that letters fall under the category of gifts and welp... Letters are like my favorite thing in the whole world. I also got thinking about the little things that people I love have been given me in the past and how much I value them and I could see why I had gotten the higher score. All this being said, I took the test again this morning, got 9 Quality Time, 9 Words of Affirmation, 0 Acts of Service, 8 Receiving of Gifts and 6 Physical Touch and decided that this all around score was more accurate. Except for the Acts of Service part, that doesn't make any sense because I LOVE it when people treat me like a princess. :)
To conclude this rambly, un-organized, narcissistic blog post: I tend towards co-dependency and I need to be intentional about finding worth in what God says and thinks of me, not the people around me, the co-dependency part is what is unhealthy, the feeling loved when people speak words of affirmation over me is just how I'm wired, I feel loved when people write me a letter or buy/make me a gift to show their affection, AND... my birthday is in three days. 'Using guilt manipulation as a way to get what I want' much? Absolutely.